What if I had done things differently?
What if I had chosen a different profession?
What if I had got out of the bus before my stop?
Our lives are filled with wonder, if we had done things on a different way.
This has such a heavy weight on our souls.
It is packed with guilt, regret, sorrow, grief.
There is no room for growth based on things that you have no control of. These are not facts that were part of your life, they ARE NOT REAL!
I can’t be living, thinking what my life would be IF…
So, I decided, from now on, my big question will be done on future form.
From now on, all the “what ifs” in my life, will be filled with opportunities!
What if I choose to go back to school?
What if I decide to go around the world with my family?
What if I do this or that…
I chose to illustrate this post with a few pictures taken from a very close perspective, just because, sometimes, the opportunities we are waiting for are right bellow our nose.
What if I look close to me…
How many times, in our lives, we asked for another chance or another option?
And how many times, we actually have the choice and simply don’t see it!
On the same thought as my previous post, Little Wishes, I would like to share with you a story, where a light came through an open door and I chose to follow it.
In 2001, I had just broken up with a boyfriend. It was a very long relationship with a lot of “ups and downs” and very little light at the end of the tunnel. One of these things, we find hard to let go because there is always a little voice inside that tells you not to give up. (I have to tune this little voice, it can really slow me down, big time!)
Anyway, long story short, I was in totally disbelief of human relationships, I had with it, I was surrounded by failure. I had a very heavy weight on my back and really needed some guidance.
One day, I was walking down a book store aisle and explaining to my mother how frustraded I was, when I said:
– “I just want a sign! I just want to know, where I should go!”
At that moment, believe or not, a book fell of the shelf right in front of me. Think whatever you want, either someone forgot to set it properly on the shelf or someone, up there, was really listening to me.
Normally, I would automatically stop and put back on the shelf but, this time, I stopped and looked at the cover.
Seconds went by, until I recollected my dialog with my mother and turned the cover facing to her:
Canada! A Tourism Guide
Then I knew, that was my sign!
That little voice inside me was quiet. It was the quietest moment in my life. It was like opening a book with blank pages, nothing there, just possibilities.
I didn’t speak English very well, but always wanted to learn it.
I had no kids and no boyfriends holding me back.
I had a professional life, but I was in the middle of contract that would allow me to do it at long distance.
I had so many questions, I didn’t even know how to start my search.
That night, I went through the whole tourism guide, made notes and started an intensive overnight search on the web for English courses in Canada.
Funny the way the universe allies to your plans when it is meant to be.
In less than two weeks, I had bought my flight tickets, found a school, a rental room in Toronto and I was ready to depart to my new journey when I decided to try to find a local guide to help me there.
I dropped I note in a matching couples website saying that I was arriving in Canada on June 15, 2001 and would love to make new friends.
A very charming man answered my call and said I was his birthday gift because I was arriving on his birthday!
Wow, what a line, hey?!
“Tall, handsome, loves brazilian music and plays washboard in a Zydeco band.”
I could not resist, I had to meet him.
We met, we matched, we loved, we laughed, we sighed, we stayed, we went, we made, we visit, we played, we traveled and we got
Six months after meeting me in Toronto, Mr. Sugar proposed and we had the best wedding party ever in Kingston, Ontario, where we live now, with our daughter Julia, our son Dante and our dog Giorgia Belle.
So, looking back, all it took was an open door and the courage to across it, for a life that I always wanted!
My wish for the next year is, to wake up every morning aware the existence of these little signs that are every where in our daily lives, which I just have to tune in and start watching and listening!
Happy New Life!
Lots of love!
ps- Sorry for any English/grammar mistakes, I am still learning!